24th May, 2024
Many teachers have seen a worrying rise in the frequency and severity of difficult behaviour in their pupils. From not paying attention to violence, educators have been facing challenges in various areas of student conduct. Many are looking for solutions and advice on how to prevent and act during incidents, too.
Education experts state clearly that in order to improve the situation, it’s crucial to build a positive relationship with students. How do they do it, though?
Based on their views and experience, we gathered information on how to create it and what to look out for.
Difficult behaviour is caused by difficult emotions. These can come from much more than just the situation a student is in at that particular moment. That’s why it’s so important to understand each student’s background and circumstances. Try to find out as much as you can about the environment they come from. This includes households, friend groups, city quarters… Whatever information you can get.
Make them feel that you genuinely care and see them as individuals. You can start by simply addressing them by their names. With time, try to take mental notes of their interests and events happening in their lives - things that make them happy - and relate to them when you get a chance.
Yes, having some authority is important but it doesn’t mean you have to be a robot. You make mistakes, too. When this happens, don’t be afraid to say it and talk about what you can do to fix it. It sets a great example for your students and lets them learn these skills. Encourage them to do the same and acknowledge when they do so.
Be clear about the desired behaviour. This includes the emotional state you can later refer to when things escalate. Bonus points if you involve your students in the creation of these rules. It creates a feeling of having more control over what’s happening in the classroom instead of just having some principles imposed on them. It can make students more eager to follow the rules and hold each other accountable.
One of the ways to foster a good connection with your pupils is to acknowledge when things go well. Praising positive behaviour will endorse it. Students are more likely to act well when they get something for it, even if it’s just a few good words. It’s important to use their name while doing it. It will feel more personal and make the child associate you with positive feelings.
Even with the best systems in place, things will not always go as planned. It’s important not to lose your calm (easier said than done, we know) and to be respectful in both verbal and non-verbal communication.
Remember: anger is a secondary emotion. It’s a reaction to the mistreatment our nervous system is experiencing. The same goes for children. If you can, try to find out what other emotions lie underneath the anger of your student. It can be a lot easier to resolve the issue if you know what exactly caused their bad behaviour.
Or maybe we should say “the feeling of it”. When things go wrong, you may want your pupil to make up for their mistake. Come up with a few options or even let your student help you with it. Having a choice will make your student feel more in control and less like they HAVE to do this one specific thing. It will also show them different ways to fix their mistakes in the future.
If students have no desire to follow a rule, they simply won’t (this one applies especially to middle schoolers - if you know, you know). However, it is possible to create this desire through building a positive relationship with them. Some of the key actions to consider are: giving praise for good behaviour, showing interest in students’ hobbies, honesty, and giving them a bit of control over what happens if something goes wrong.
There may not be a guarantee these points will completely erase poor behaviour and attitude in your students but, according to education experts, they certainly are worth a try. Let us know if you do and if you see any changes.
